The Pre-Production of Jan Jack’s ‘Ballad of Dwayne and Chardonnay’

Mark’s bit : As I sit to write these production notes for ‘The Ballad of Dwayne and Chardonnay’ it is the eve of the big day. We’re planning to shoot the whole video (well the vast majority of the video) in a single day. With only a few pick ups for the week after. Everything is sorted, we have a well planned shot list, with the locations scouted a few weeks back and two very willing actors raring to help Jan Jack as she takes up one of the title roles of this short film (bet you can’t guess which one).

The whole idea for the video came about when Jan came to me with a poem she had written, originally titled ‘A Contemporary Romance’ and we came up with some funny ideas at  a meeting and just agreed to GO FOR IT. So here we are…

It’s been a relatively quick process getting this going, partly because of the keenness to make the video, and also because it will be being shown in Basingstoke, at the Red Lion Hotel on the 21st October. So if you want to see the video FIRST, before it goes online click here.

Anyway, before I pass you onto the one and only Jan Jack for her take on Pre-Production, please take a look at the storyboards below (not all of them are there I don’t want to give the game away) :

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Jan’s Bit: When I first recited the poem to film maker Mark Harman we giggled like a couple of kids. I’m sure I saw his eyes light up. It didn’t take us long to decide to do a video of ‘A Contemporary Romance- The Ballad of Dwayne & Chardonnay’. One brainstorming session later we’d laid our cunning plan.

Of course we needed a victim, sorry love interest, Mike Peates – no stranger to drama- was duly elected to be Dwayne, the romantic lead. He took the news very well, we also had to recruit Chardonnay’s best mate. No problem- Mark made his girlfriend into a chav, put the picture on Facebook and got told off by his Mum.

Next we had to find a location. Here the travelling community was our friend. We whizzed down to where they recently lived and were delighted to see they’d had the generosity to leave two mattresses, one decomposed nappy (including contents) and a skanky pair of leopard print knickers. Class!

Next step was to empty my piggy bank and scour the internet. Before you could say ‘tattoo’ I was the proud owner of a ginger wig, and a doll which could scare a dung beetle off a pile of poo. A pink thong was also sourced – it has a starring role in our production. The question ‘Jan, did you already own that?’ is not one I wish to answer.

So… on Saturday 5 October, armed with Mark’s video equipment, Mike’s hoodie, and a limp sausage roll, the Three Musketeers headed into Basingstoke to film the first scene of our poignant and ultimately heartbreaking love story…


Remember! If you want to come and be the first to see ‘The Ballad of Dwayne and Chardonnay’ at Bonding, Bonking and the Biological clock – The weird world of dating CLICK HERE